At Least There's the Breeze

Remember back when you were a kid, and all you cared about in a job was the fact that it paid enough for you to be able to go out and get that new cd, or splurge on that cute little skirt at that fancy boutique? When, exactly, does a job become more about benefits and meeting responsibilities?

So Wil's new job is going well. He's delivering medical supplies around town. Not exactly a career, but it's a decent paycheck, and for the first time in two years, we will have insurance.

I wish I could say the same for my job. It seems like ever since I've returned from my leave things have progressively gone downhill. Or maybe it's just that I don't give a shit one way or the other, about the goings-on there. I have my own family and my own worries. I don't feel like getting caught up in the micro-drama of the AMC world.

Every day I am pointedly asked when I'll be returning to full-time. Hmmm... let me think about this. Now, if I can pay my bills with my "part time" hours, why would I leave my son in the care of strangers for 12 hours a day, six days a week just to accommodate them? No thanks. There are a million and one jobs out there that I can do, but my son will only be a baby once, and I only have one chance at giving him a happy childhood.

Another reason that I feel less than enthusiastic about bending over backwards to assist them is the fact that I was carrying around loads of 40-50 lbs. at seven months pregnant and that is one of the main reasons I was put on bed-rest in the first place. I suppose I could have claimed that time as worker's comp, but I didn't feel like fighting that particular battle while struggling just to keep my baby and myself alive. Then while I was dealing with a baby who had some pretty hefty medical issues, and some of my own, they were constantly calling to find out when I'd be back. Mind you, I didn't get paid a single penny the whole time I was out.

When I broke the news that I didn't want to return full-time, I was met with some major hostility. Well, I'm sorry, I am not blessed, like some of the other girls, with a stay at home mommy that wants to be responsible for raising my child for me, and I can't afford the astronomical rate for full-time daycare, even if I weren't morally opposed to parking my kid in some germ factory all day.

So return to work I did, part time... Of course part time at the clinic is 30 or more hours a week, so in the world of real jobs, I AM working full-time, just in three days a week instead of five or six.

Did I mention that I was due a raise over the time that I was out on leave? Of course, that was docked and held back three months to make up for the time I was gone. What a bunch of greedy rich assholes I work for! I know what they're banking. It's certainly enough to pay me a fair and slightly above poverty level wage.

And they want to know when I'm coming back full time?! No thanks.

Jonas is not feeling well. He was sent home from daycare yesterday with a slight fever. Last night was miserable for him. It breaks my heart when he feels ill because I am so useless to do anything but hold him as he whines and moans. We rocked all night while he cried and coughed and squirmed. I know that he's too young to talk, but the expression on his face nearly broke my heart. It was almost as if he were saying, "Why aren't you making it go away, Mommy?"

He's asleep right now, naked in his bouncy seat. It's the first sleep he's had all day.

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Have you tried buying a tomato lately? I paid $3.99 for two anemic looking flavorless ones yesterday. Four bucks for a couple of tomatoes! And we wonder why America is so fat?! I can buy a box of Hot Pockets for $1.79, or run through the drive through and absolutely gorge on some high-fat-high-calorie junk with the $4 I spent to have a little tomato in my salad. And let's not get into the price of the other salad components. You have to be rich to eat healthy in this world. It just doesn't seem right.

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It's so damn hot in here. The air conditioner decided to stop working about a week ago. At first, it was no big deal... I mean, it's December, right? Who cares about a busted a/c? We have a lot of other financial obligations to deal with before we think about shelling our a couple grand on a new a/c, so we considered it a blessing that it decided to croak now. Out of spite, nature has kicked it's thermostat to nearly 90 today. Figures. We're going to have to take a fairly hefty cash advance in order to accommodate a few of the unexpecteds. What the hell, right? I mean, what good old red-blooded American isn't on the verge of bankruptcy? I'm sure going back to work full-time would provide the extra income I need to solve all my problems. *Insert sarcastic eye-roll here*

But hey, at least there's a breeze today, and last time I checked, at least THAT was still free.