The Great Gerber Conspiracy

In the past week Jonas has ventured into the world of "real food". There is nothing more fun for a doting parent than to watch their little punkin' heads reaction to different tastes and textures. But this phase also brings with it a whole set of delimmas.

Standing there in the baby food aisle of the local mega-mart, I felt overwhelmed and intimidated by the rows and rows of little glass jars. What foods are best? What flavors will he like? What brand should I feed him. Up until now, there has been no decision to make, just uniform cans of white powder guaranteed to go down easily and with little mess. (At least, as little as can be expected with a refluxy baby)

The labels do little to discern a difference between brands. Amazing, everyone's bananas contain... well, bananas. Everyone's peas look like food processed grasshoppers. But wait, there are two different types of Gerber foods. Amazingly, all the brands have two distinct "lines" of food. There's the standard glop our parents stuffed our faces with, and then there's the "Tender Harvest" type, or the "Nature select" or whatever they want to call it.

These special lines boast their organic nature.

"Oh, cool!" thinks the new mommy. Afterall, what parent wants to fill their little darling with pesticide laden fruits and veggies? Sure, it's a little more expensive, but isn't it worth it? Don't you want your baby to eat nothing but the best? Of course you do.

But wait a minute? If they're selling organic foods, does that imply that they are admitting they sell little jars of chemicals? Shouldn't there be a warning label on this stuff?
Warning: This baby food contains chemicals guaranteed to cause your child's intestines to rot out and a third arm to sprout from the top of his head.

No thanks, I'll pay a little extra.

Or is this all a ploy to make nervous new mothers spend more money? Afterall, we grew up on the chemical compote, didn't we, and we're ok, aren't we? And if I give my son nothing but organic baby food, does that mean that his digestive system will be incapable of tolerating regular food when he grows up? Am I doing my son a disservice by wanting to sheild him from a world of pesticides?

Damn Gerber for all my sleepless nights.