I don't give a damn what you think

So many people have opinions on how to raise a child. It seems that my particular parenting style rubs a lot of people the wrong way. I'm constantly being told all of the things that I am doing wrong and all of the horrible habits I am encouraging down the road.

The hottest topic lately is the fact that we choose to co-sleep with our son. Even his pediatrician thinks this is a bad idea, citing a higher risk of SIDS. Yeah, well, we don't sleep on a waterbed, we don't drink or smoke, and we've eliminated all fluffy bedding and pillows, so scratch that one doc. Besides, if they truly knew what caused babies to die of SIDS, wouldn't they just come right out and say it? Their thories change with each generation of children. The bottom line is, it's simply one of those things that happens sometimes, and the professional world knows it's a parent's biggest fear, so they capitalize on it by using it to strike fear in us if we do anything outside the "normal" parameters of parenting.

Besides, I think that if my son were to stop breathing in the middle of the night, I'd know about it a hell of a lot sooner if he's sleeping right beside me instead of on the other side of the house, right?

Yeah, anyway.


I've been told that letting him sleep with us will spoil him. That he will never leave our bed. Now, come on folks, have you ever met a 15 year old that still sleeps with mom and dad? And if he does need to sleep with us until he's 8 or 10, who's problem is that but our own. Who has a right to give a shit where my son sleeps?

My mom offered to give us a port-a-crib so that he can still sleep in our room with us, only not in our bed. I find this ridiculous. Yeah, it might be nice for those rare nights when we decide it's time for some adult activity, but otherwise, what's the difference in having him across the room or across the house? Either way, we're building distance. Let's let Jonas decide when he's ready for that.

My belief with co-sleeping is that we are building a closeness and a bond with our child. When he wakes up in the night, we are right there to soothe him. He doesn't have to lie there in the dark wailing his lungs out until one of us wakes up, and trudges into his room to get him. He knows that we are there for him, 24 hours a day.

My Mom says this is teaching him that he has all the control. Ok. Let's face it, he does. I'm perfectly fine with a six month old dictator living under my roof.

And at night, when it's quiet, and he stirs just a little, rolls toward me and places that perfectly warm and soft little hand against my cheek, then drifts peacefully back to sleep I know that what I am doing is absolutely right. There's nothing in this world that could make me believe Jonas is being harmed by our parenting style.

So go pick on those folks that don't give a damn about their kids. Go screw with the folks who see their children as obstacles, mistakes, and obligations. Our family is doing just fine without you.