All Alone

This afternoon the boys are out together, visiting with the grandparents and running various errands. God bless my hubby for realizing what I hadn't: I needed a day off.

So what does a Mommy do in her free time? Well, first, she catches up on housework so that she doesn't feel guilty about wasting time. Then she, or at least this Mommy does, gets down to long forgotten projects.

You see, I'm always full of great ideas, but my follow-through is terrible. Hence the reason Jonas's baby book only has four pages in it. I guess it's just because I'm a practical person. If I have a craft sort of thing I could be working on, or a pile of laundry, I'm going to pick the laundry. You have to have clean clothes, but the crafts can wait.

So today, with the laundry done, and the floors swept and the dog's nails trimmed, and the dishes all put away, I sat down to a quilt I started for Steven more than a year ago. My intent was to make one for each of the kids... Steven, Aaron, and of course, my own little terror, the J-man. Then life took over and I was back to work, and the sewing was just a fond memory and a bag of scraps stuffed into a dusty closet corner.

Here's what it looks like now, after a full day's work.



Eventually it'll look like a cat, Steven's favorite critter. Appropriately my little shit-head cat decided to pose herself right in the middle of it. Oh well, at least it shows it's size. This is one monster of a kid's quilt! Had I realized, when I started, that it would turn out this large, I probably would have scaled it down some. I was aiming for more of a "cuddly" blanket, not a full-sized quilt. But I like the way it's turned out so far. And I think Steven will like it too.

As far as the other two kids getting theirs any time before they start college-- it looks pretty bleak.

But anyway, now it's evening. I'm drowing out the silence of an empty house with VH1 Classic. Good schtuff. I'd forgotten how much I used to enjoy music. Lately the only thing in rotation around here are Laurie Berkner and Bear in the Big Blue House. Don't get me wrong, I totally dig both of them, for what they are. But suppose what I'm getting at here is this: I'm finally learning that it's ok for me to have facets of myself that don't include Jonas. It's been a year coming, but I think I finally get it. I can love my son, and still love my time alone. Imagine that.

Ok, before I start getting all stupidly philosophical, I'll wind this thing down.

I go back to part time this week, which means that I don't have to be back to work until Wednesday. You'd think I'd consider this heavenly, but actually I'm full of anxiety about what I'm going to do with all this new free time. I'm so used to the 16 hour day routine that I don't know if I'm going to be able to slow down.

Heh, I guess that's sort of like complaining about having to pay taxes on a million dollar jackpot, isn't it?

Have a good weekend y'all!