Mother plays piano

Ok, so I've been searching online all afternoon for airfare to Memphis. I'm bound and determined to be there this year. I mean, hell, it's bad enough that it's been an entire year since I've seen any of my family, and now, with Daddy Dean so sick, I feel like I HAVE to go.

Homecomings are awkward, to put it mildly. I think I've always sort of been on the outside of the family, walking some delicate line between the two sides. There's Dad's side... the quiet country folks that live way out, and then there's Mom's side, the more sophisticated, city folks. And somewhere in the middle I sit, trying to evenly divide my time between the two. Lord knows you can't give one side more than the other, lest you leave everyone feeling jilted.

And now, I start my rant. Jessica, if you're reading, I'm sorry for any feelings I'm about to hurt.

Last week, before the news came in about Daddy Dean, and I was just considering going to Memphis to visit and there wasn't a real purpose, Mom sort of lead me to believe that she was going to be able to get me a ticket, no charge, or at minimal cost. She works for a company that allows her such luxuries. So, that sort of set the wheels in motion. If I could get there for a small amount of out of pocket, why wouldn't I go?

So then we start discussing our plans, Wil and I, and we decide that we really should go. Jonas deserves to see his family, they deserve to see him. But then the news comes in about Daddy Dean, and that seals the deal. We HAVE to go. There's nothing like a little terminal illness to get the wheels in motion, eh?

I start investigating ticket prices- they're astronomical. So I find the cheapest fare out there, and I call my Mom, who then gracefully side-steps the money issue and makes it clear that I'm on my own here.

Of course I am.

If it were her father that was sick (God rest your soul, Grandaddy) you'd better believe the fare would be paid, but now that it's Dad's family, Dad should be footing the bill.

And that's the way it works, you see, when the family is divided. It's always one side or the other that should be responsible, and not a group effort, even if both sides stand to benefit from the situation.

I just don't think it's right to take advantage of a situation like this, to turn someone's impending death into a financial findfall. I mean, if she could get me a ticket before, why, all of a sudden can she not?

And left to do this on my own, it's certain that Wil won't be able to come at all, and it's even doubtful that I can go alone. I mean, I don't exactly have $300 earmarked for impromptu vacations. If I had an extra three hundred dollars I wouldn't be driving a shitbox car that has three warning lights lit on the dashboard a funny noise coming from under the hood, a slipping transmission, and is overdue by about 9000 miles for an oil change. And that's the car we consider the "good" one.

If this were a first time event in my life that my mother had fed me some sort of empty promise, or turned something around on me, I might be a little less peeved about it, but it seems like she'll take every opportunity she gets to inflict some sort of hardship on me. Of course, it's done in the most innocent way possible.

Yes, mother plays piano, but nowhere near as well as she plays me.

Happy holidays y'all.