For your birthday

I really did want to get you something. Something nice. Something you really wanted. Sure, it would have been a little late, since I don't get paid until Friday. But still, you would have liked it a lot.

Instead, for your birthday, I'll be getting my septic tank sucked so that I don't have to wade through years worth of sludge in my shower anymore.

Trust me: You would have liked the first gift better. But I'm really thankful for the second. :)

Oh, and one other thing... if ever you think you'd like to buy a house, please come spend a weekend with me.

In all seriousness, happy birthday little sister. You're hardly the sweet little baby you once were, and you're certainly not the wild child you used to be. You're not even the crazy teenager you were just a few short years ago. What you are is a beautiful woman with a bright future and a sweet little girl of your own. I love you. Always have, always will. I hope you enjoy your day.