The rundown

You'd think that going back to work part-time would make life less busy. At least I would have thought that.

It's really not that I'm overly busy, it's just been one of those weeks.

On Sunday my step-mom dropped a bomb on us... Granny has cancer. Just like that. No padded words to soften the blow or anything. There we were, sitting in the floor playing blocks with Jonas and in she comes and just as casually as you'd tell someone that their shoelaces were untied, "Did I tell you that Granny has cancer?"

Emotionless.

I guess maybe that's just the way she needs to deal with it. Me, heck I'm stewing inside. What kind of cancer? How bad is it? What are her treatment options? When can they start? How long has she had it? On and on...

She's my step-grandmother. No blood relation. But she's been part of my family since I was two or three years old. And I feel like shit because I haven't even really called or visited with her in more than a year. I saw her briefly at New Year's when I was in Tennessee, but that was it. And now the idea that I've wasted all of this time. That she's got this disease eating away inside her... let's face it, we all know what cancer does to you. Especially when you're older and don't want to go through chemo. It's just one of those things where you realize how insignificant you are, that you're useless to help, nothing can heal, and all you can do is anticipate the end.

Ugh.

Other than that, the week has been mostly uneventful.

The note on the door at daycare yesterday informed me that, effective Oct. 3, tuition is being raised. Thanks for the advanced notice. I made up for it by dropping a day. Now I'm paying the same amount for less time. It'll make Abuela happy, though. She'll get to have him one more day a week.

Jonas and I have a ritual on nights that I work. We come home, I feed him a snack, and then he plays his playpen while I get dinner ready. Usually I'll turn on PBS Kids for him. Last night I flipped on the tv, punched in those all-too-familiar numbers on the remote, and was met with three big question marks on the screen. Ok, so I punched in the wrong numbers... so I did it again. Question-marks. So I search the guide, perplexed that they'd go and change a channel for no apparent reason. It's gone. They fucking got rid of PBS Kids! Further research reveals that they've moved it to the hi-def realm and that it's now a subscription channel.

First of all, why the hell does my kid need to watch Dragon Tales and Barney in High-definition? And second, why the hell should I have to pay extra for it. Just another way for them to make a buck.

Ironically, as I sat there fuming over this, a commercial came on discussing how you could block certain shows so that your kids can only watch wholesome programming. Well, no, they really can't, since you've gone and FUCKING MOVED the WHOLESOME programming to channels that I have to pay extra for. Good lord! My cable bill is already over $100 a month.

So I can let my kids watch random violence and adult situations on all the regular channels, but if I want them to watch something that's actually good for them, I have to pay for it...

And that's what's wrong wit America's children. That and all the sugar and preservatives in the food and the chemicals they pump into the chickens.

Or something like that.


Seriously, any of you guys use satellite? I'm thinking of switching.

Who'd have ever thought that I'd be this vested in Public Television. Public... isn't that ironic?!