Lay off the chips, fatty!

Ok, so it's no secret that I've struggled with weight issues most of my life. After J was born I was determined to do something about it. I didn't want to be the mom on the playground that was forced to watch from the bench while the other moms and dads were able to chase and tumble and play along-side their kids.

So I began dieting and trying to get a little more exercise- or at least be conscious of how little I was doing. :) Now, dieting is a very personal thing. What works for one doesn't always work for someone else. What worked for me was cutting out the unnecessary extras and retraining myself to look at food as nothing more than fuel instead of the decadent luxury that it is.

What do I mean by extras? Butter, cream, mayo... that sort of stuff. I began using fat free ranch dressing in place of mayo where I could, and even then, only in moderation. Sandwich bread was replaced with less caloric whole-wheat wraps, and instead of a little lettuce with my meaty sandwich, I learned to fill up on the veggies and skimp on the meat- one slice is enough.

Measuring played a big part of it. I don't think people realize that when they pour a bowl of cereal they're usually pouring twice the amount that's in a serving, according to the box. So, when a serving said "one cup", I'd pull out the measuring cup. Wil would laugh, watching me eat cheerio's out of a measuring cup, but it worked.

At one point, several years ago, at my very heaviest, I was nearly 220! I fluctuated, though. Going anywhere between there and about 175-180. So, I lost the weight. Went from a post-pregnancy weight of just under 200 to 135 over the course of several months. Wow! What a difference! It's not a vanity issue at all. As a matter of fact, I think I probably looked better when I was a little more plump, simply because there wasn't the loose, flabby-skin factor to deal with. But I feel so much healthier, I'm able to do so much more. When I was fat I had no idea how much it was affecting me. I mean, I'd get winded just walking to the mailbox sometimes, and when I was in classes that were held on the second floor, I found myself taking the elevator more often than not. I'm not saying that I could run a marathon now. Heck, I probably couldn't make it around the block without gasping for air, but I can chase my kid. We can wrestle and jump and tumble without me having to constantly take breaks. I can pull him in his wagon for miles in the afternoon and we can stop and look at all the birds, trees and flowers.

In short- I'm pretty proud of myself.

But here's the thing. Once I reached my goal weight, there became this new challenge of re-introducing some of the "forbidden" things and finding a way to eat without losing anymore weight, and yet, not gaining anything back. This has been ultimately more challenging than dieting.

When I was working it wasn't so bad- I mean, I didn't have constant access to the fridge, ya know. It was breakfast in the morning, lunch, and then dinner with sometimes a snack in between. Now, with the kitchen right there, calling my name all day, I'm finding it harder and harder to stay away. Even now, it's not that I eat so much, it's just that I'm so much more lax on the things I used to be so strict on. Things like rich vanilla creamer in my coffee in the morning (a habit just recently picked up, as I've always taken my coffee black in the past). And yes, we all need our little indulgences, I understand that. But since I've quit work, I've gained back almost 5 lbs. Considering it's only been 3 weeks, I'm looking at some serious trouble if I don't do something about it soon.

So, starting here and now, I vow to be more conscious of all the junk that passes my lips. See, it's not dieting- it's altering your mentality about food.