Last Night

was the first night that I've left Jonas overnight with someone. Ok, there was that time that I had the stomach flu, and my mom watched him while I puked my guts out. But this was the first time that I've left him so that I could have an "adult night".

You'd think that after a year and a half I'd feel ok about that, but I still have little pangs of guilt and this aching lonliness about not having him here.

But the night was fun, and relaxing. We went to our friend Mary's house for dinner. She's about two weeks away from giving birth to her daughter, and just went on disability as of Monday. I find that amazing. I was on bedrest for over a month and I'm a fairly healthy person. She, on the other hand, has hardly any kidney function at all due to a botched surgery as a child. She should have died during this pregnancy, but instead she's been incredibly healthy and beautiful. She's not actually due to have Devi until Feb. 22, but we all know she's not going to go that long. She's ready to pop now!

So we had a nice and relaxing dinner together, and great conversation, and we took the grand tour of the baby's room and the rest of the house. She had significant damage during the hurricanes of '04, and is just now getting her house back together. As a matter of fact, this was the first meal she's cooked in her own kitchen since they got the cabinets replaced. Imagine cooking in your garage for a year and a half! Ugh!

After dinner Wil and I were able to come home and have some alone time together. I'd forgotten how nice that was. Coming home, cuddlng on the couch, just talking about our lives and re-connecting after what seems like an eternity of being so distant.

Of course, the sex was great, too. But the true highlight of the evening was just being together, period.

This morning I made myself get out of bed at the usual time, and I got the bathroom painted. Now all I have to do is put the shower head and handle back on, and we should have a usable bathroom again! Yippie! This has been the most nightmarish home improvement project I've ever taken on. From now on, I'm hiring ONE person to do the whole damn thing, from cutting out the old to trim-painting. No more of this waiting on seven different people (including myself) to get things done.

So anyway, it's nearly 11:30 and I'm missing my son so badly that I'm about ready to cry. I'm really proud of myself for being able to let go of him like this, but at the same time, I don't think it's something I'll be ready to do again any time soon.