Friday, August 11, 2006

Grrrr

It's 10 pm, the night before J's second birthday and I'm full of all sorts of emotions.

There is, of course, that sweet nostalgic feeling of looking at my big boy and wondering where the sweet little baby went. Looking back at pictures from last year's party, I realize just how much he's grown in the past twelve months. I mean, he wasn't even standing on his own at last year's party! Amazing! I guess we take for granted all the things our babies learn to do in such a short period of time.

And then there's the exhaustion of party planning and party prep. Man! I'm beat tonight! I spent about six hours today baking the biggest, gaudiest Thomas the train cake you can imagine! It's huge and colorful and there's a big train sitting atop it! The food is prepped, the table is set, and now all we need are guests.

That's another story all to itself. I've had one actual RSVP, aside from that, I know that Wendy and Steven and Granny and Daddy Dave will be attending, and Wendy talked with Heidi and so I know that she's coming. And I talked to Mary today, and she and Devi are dropping by, but Mary has to go to work. But all of my other invitations- not even a call. Ugh.

And the in-laws... should I even go there? Yeah, I should because I swore that I wouldn't, but I have, and so now I must go there.

Wil sort of, kind of hinted to me that his parents didn't want to come to the party about a week ago. He said that they felt out of place because they didn't speak English. But then he told me that his father wanted to come, but that his mother was still on the fence about it. And then today, thinking that it might make them feel more useful, I asked him to ask his mom if maybe she'd make some beans and rice to go with the food. We all know that the spanish momma makes the best beans and rice in the world! Even then, he made no indication that they weren't planning on coming.

Now, earlier in the week, when he hinted that his Mom didn't want to come, I told him, through gritted teeth, that I wouldn't be offended if they didn't come, and that I understood how she felt. But honestly, I don't think I prepared myself for an actual rejection. I just assumed that they'd set aside their differences and come because it IS THEIR GRANDSON'S PARTY!!!

So, long story short, they're not coming. Which I figured out, not because anyone told me, but because his father gave me their camera when I picked J up this evening and asked me to take pictures for him.

So now, even though I swore that there wouldn't be any hard feelings, there are. And I'm trying my best to get over them. But at the same time I'm wondering why in the hell I've spent this much time and effort trying to make the best birthday party ever when no one else seems to give a damn one way or the other.

Ugh.

But really, it's all about J and his big day, and he's going to have the greatest damn party in the world, even if it is just him and me.

3 Comments:

At 11:58 PM, Blogger msubulldog said...

Aw, I'm sorry Wil's folks aren't coming. I'd be upset about it, too. :( Do they ever plan to learn English, or do they just manage to find ways around it?
Have a wonderful time tomorrow! We'll be thinking about you!
--A, B, & A2

 
At 1:04 AM, Blogger Eve said...

You know, I'm in the same boat, and I've been wondering how it will be.. now that I'm going to be living 1/2 an hour away from Roy's dad, I'm not going to have much excuse not to bring Anthony for visits. Talking on the phone with him is hard enough, for the whole 5 minutes that we're trying to understand one another, I don't know how well the visits are going to go. I'm really going to have to try to learn Spanish as quickly as possible.

I meant to ask you about this topic a while ago. Are you and Wil teaching Jonas Spanish? Roy and I both want Anthony to know both languages, but it is difficult when the only parent around is the English speaking one.

Oh, but back on topic, I would be mad too. Whether they feel out of place because of the language barriers or not, it is still their grandson, and they could at least make an appearance for 5 minutes or so. IMO.

 
At 7:44 AM, Blogger Mommyleek said...

Thanks guys, for your understanding, and for not telling me that I sound like one of those crazed Peewee football league parents that end up going on a rampage and killing the coach, or something.

Amanda, Florida is great in that it is rather friendly to the non-english speaking sect. Wil's dad tries to speak english, but honestly, I understand him better when he speaks spanish. And he can understand me if I speak slow enough and don't use big words. His mom, on the other hand, is old, stubborn, and refuses to learn. So, I guess we'll always suffer through this. I even offered to sign up for spanish refresher courses if she'd make the effort to start learning english, but she refused. *rolls eyes* whatever.

Eve, from experience, I can tell you that phone conversations are more difficult than face to face meetings. At least in person you have the advantage of body language. And yes, J's learning both languages. He has certain words he knows in english and others that he knows only in spanish. For example, if he wants something to drink he'll say "more agua!" While Roy's away, just focus on teaching Anthony the words you are familiar with- numbers, colors, familiar objects. I don't think he needs to hear you speak fluently in order to pick up on it.

Anyway, thanks for the encouragement and understanding guys. I've got to get over to the party house and get things finished up. Ugh. It's not even 8 and I'm already beat! :)

BTW, Amanda, your package arrived yesterday, and since I know what it is I'm ready for him to open it! You're right, Mom and Dad WILL get a kick out of it. :)

 

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