Please, just once

can I have a day where something absolutely ridiculous doesn't happen to me?
Tuesday's super-stupid event:

I left my car unlocked in my parents really long driveway in a really good neighborhood while I ran in to get J after work. Sure call me stupid. You can call me even stupider when I tell you that I left my purse inside as well as Mocha's meds, which are controlled narcotics, in there too. Well, you can see where this is going can't you? Yep, my car got broken into. Can you call it breaking in when all they do is open the door?

Did they steal my purse, the dog's meds, or even my cell phone? Nope. You know what they took? A 30-pack of toilet paper I'd just bought at the wholesale club. And it's not like it was in plain sight- it was in the trunk!

Sometimes all you can do is shake your head in wonder.

Today's super-stupid event:

So, the dogs are bouncing around and doing everything they can to let me know that they have to go potty. I can't walk both of them at the same time. That's just too much dog to hold onto while also keeping control of a three-year-old boy. I took Kelli first, since she's the one that has that look that means "Hey Ma! My eyeballs are floating!" Once she's done, I return her to the house and leash up Mocha. Of course, I shut the front door because it's darn near 90 degrees outside today (that's a whole separate topic, though).

Well, you see, Kelli is the over-excited type who does not enjoy being alone in this world. Once we're out of sight she has a momentary meltdown of barking, whining, pacing, and of course jumping at the door.

What did she do? She locked us out of our house! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the flipping dog threw the deadbolt. And of course I didn't have my keys or my cell phone on me because I wasn't going anywhere but to the end of the yard and back.

My situation looked bleak. Who wants to be outside in 90 degree heat with a furry dog, a sweaty kid, and nothing to drink for several hours until someone comes home? Not I. Not J. Certainly not Mocha.

I've heard that it's pretty easy to break in through a locked sliding glass door as long as it doesn't have a bar across it. Well, just so happens my bar is not in place because I was just out on the porch this morning. I figure it's a crapshoot at best. I mean, they say you can do these things, but they also say you can jimmy a car lock with a coat hanger and I've never succeeded at that before, either. But I figure it's worth a shot. What else am I going to do for the next 2 hours, anyway?

Imagine my surprise when it took me all of 30 seconds to lift the door off the latch and slide it right open! Hooray for being inside! But let this be a warning to you... or a couple of warnings, I suppose.

Don't ever leave yourself in a position where your dog can lock you out. And even more importantly, if you have a sliding glass door, make sure you have a safety bar on that mother, cuz if I can do it, your house is in serious trouble from folks that know what they're doing.